Cancer ostensibly affects approximately 1 in 5 people during their lifespan (WHO 2021). Including loved ones and caregivers of cancer patients, 6 million more are impacted by this disease per year (Broom and Kenny 2021). More than an individual disease, cancer is a public and relational ailment. Despite the prevalence of cancer cases, I never thought that I would be one of those 6 million carers. But this is what happened when my grandmother was diagnosed with colorectal cancer in 2022.
It is crucial to equip caregivers with essential skills to look after cancer patients. As my grandmother always says, “We all have to live with this together: I have to live with cancer while appreciating that you all [family members] are fighting this with me.”
But how, as family members, do we provide the best care for our loved ones?
Building a team of support
First, in maintaining high-quality cancer care, cancer patient and family caregiver teamwork matters.
“I am scared of undergoing the MRI (Magnetic Resonance Imaging). The idea of being in a narrow tunnel throws me off”, my grandmom said. I really wish I could replace her, but the best thing I could do was accompany her and console that everything would be all right.
Seemingly, ordinary caring acts can help build camaraderie among those living with cancer. Driving patients to appointments, taking notes, and paying attention to the details, along with being side by side when they have to bear uncomfortable side effects are small, yet impactful caring behaviors (Northouse et al. 2012).
Communication and acceptance can be difficult in these emotional situations. Healthcare professionals struggle to make patients aware of the limits of prescribed medications (Broom and Kenny 2021). Caregivers should collect, synthesize, and simplify the data for patients to help them understand the curing process.
Although caregivers cannot numb all the patients’ pain or make illness vanish, sharing problems can attenuate the affliction. Being strong for each other and boosting mental health by doing fun things together can also lower depression and bolster the odds of survival (CDC 2023).
Believing their pains
It is important to consider the pain of sick loved ones and pay attention to them. As one cancer patient explained:
“It’s a loss of everything when you go from being a healthy person who walks her dog ten kilometers a day, eats really well, takes care of yourself, and all of a sudden you get a diagnosis that is completely left-field.” (Broom and Kenny 2021)
This patient’s experience reveals their grieving of the many previously taken-for-granted things they could no longer do.
Cancer patients also must face their own mortality. Several kinds of cancers, such as pancreatic, liver, and esophageal cancers have permanent odds of remission under 30% (ACS 2024). This shatters the patient’s hope of survival (Northouse et al. 2012).
Caregivers should also listen to and acknowledge that patients’ pain is real. Cycles of chemotherapy and remission can be agonizing and lead to uncomfortable physical and mental effects. On top of physical suffering, patients have to cope with the regress in personality, social support, and relationship’s quality. They may also stress about money or dealing with the health system (Fletchera et. Al 2012).
Psychological discomfort involves several traumas during and post treatments for cancer patients. Cancer and its treatment effects present challenges for patients to meet the traditional beauty and stereotype of the physical body (Wang and Feng 2022). Women, in particular, may grieve chemotherapy’s impact on their bodies and self-image, such as scarring, hair loss, and body shape alteration.
Carers should recognize the struggles the patients have to deal with to extend their lives while ensuring them that it is okay to grieve. Family members can start by recognizing and opening up comforting conversations with patients to alleviate patients’ emotional distress (Ryan et al. 2005).
Patient-oriented communication is key
Caregivers should be aware of what to say to the patients and how they orient conversations. Avoid inflicting more pain on the patients wherever possible. Insensitive talk, such as telling the patients to always be positive, can lead to psychological harm to the patients (Broom and Kenny 2021).
Open up light-hearted conversations and emphasize that you care about them. Normal conversations centering on topics apart from the disease, for example, asking about the project or the hobbies meaningful to the patients, can help patients feel connected, encouraged toward their purposes in life, and not confined to gloom thoughts (ASCO 2019).
Finding support from similar others
Medical sociologist Peggy Thoits’ (2021) research emphasizes having support from others with a shared disease comforts the sick in unique ways. Survivors who have prior experiences in cancer treatment processes are capable of giving relevant empathetic insights into self-care. These former patients can guide current patients on dietary choices, and resting schedules, or even serve as a role model for self-caring (Thoits 2021). Family members can help connect sick loved ones with cancer support groups.
Taking it Day by Day
Cancer is a vagary for the patients and their family caregivers. Once a family member is diagnosed with cancer, every family member has to adapt to new roles and responsibilities. In living with cancer, they not only face physical health fragility, but day-to-day relationships also become new, and can feel vulnerable.
As one family member said:
“Every day … Our relationship has changed. We had these long-term plans … We feel robbed of that regardless of how long he’s here. But yeah, from a relationship point of view it’s been huge.”
(Broom and Kenny 2021)
Cancer is a communal disease that requires not only the patients but also their family members to engage in the marathon of treatment processes. Despite being unprepared, family members should equip themselves with practical caring knowledge, communication skills, and a comforting mindset to best support their beloved ill cancer patients.
*Pointellist art inspired by 2024 Trevino exhibit, Stab of Guilt.
References
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Inspiring images
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(https://www.istockphoto.com/vector/organs-anatomy-flat-line-icons-set-human-bones-stomach-brain-
