“So where are you from?” a customer asks as I ring up her goods. It is a quiet Sunday shift at Joann Fabrics in Burlington, MA. She is the only person in line.
“Oh, I’m from Lexington, it’s a few towns over,” I reply nonchalantly, assuming it’s just some mandatory small talk.
She pauses, “Where are you really from?” she inquires again.
I pause too. The beeping of my scanner comes to a stop. Where am I really from? What sort of question is that? Isn’t it obvious? But if it was so obvious she wouldn’t have asked.
Uncomfortable situations like this are a part of the second-generation Asian American experience for many with family from all over Asia. Second-generation Asian Americans are caught between two identities created from a life of experiences in the country they were born in, and a childhood growing up in the culture of their parents.
Too Asian To Be American
“If fellow Americans treat them as outsiders or as if they do not represent that which is American, how can minority group members be expected to see themselves as American?”
(Huynh, Devos, and Smalarz 2011)
An individual’s awareness of their perceived foreignness is highly correlated with their inability to feel part of the American national identity. Questions like “where are you really from?” imply that they do not align with what is considered American (Huynh et al. 2011). As a result, Asian Americans feel that they do not belong to the society that alienates them from their culture.
The perpetual foreigner assumption has a real effect on how Asian Americans view their future living in a society that treats them as outsiders. A higher awareness of the stereotype is linked to lower hope or life-satisfaction. These feelings result from a sense of “cultural homelessness” fueled by struggles with identity (Huynh et al. 2011).
By interacting with two distinct groups with different social expectations, values, and language, Asian Americans learn when they must act Asian and when they must act American but are unable to fully identify with either performance (Kitayama et al. 1997).
Too American To Be Asian
Because Asian Americans tend to have close connections with both countries and cultures through language and values, they are more aware of the divisions between their identities (Alvarez 2016:156).
Asian Americans are very likely to speak a second language (Alvarez 2016:156). While language is an opportunity for connection it also constructs walls between those who can and cannot speak it, isolating second-generation Asian Americans from their families and culture if they lose that ability (Li 1995:7). Proficiency fades when speaking one language at school or work and then another at home. As a result, their native language is a cultural keystone that many Asian Americans struggle to hold onto as their lives become more involved in American society (Li 1995:9).
Due to strong ethnic identities, Asian Americans can often feel they are trapped in cultural binds, acting against the values that make up one culture in order to appease the other (Kitayama et al. 1997). A collectivist culture in countries like China emphasizes group well-being and interdependence, values many immigrant parents pass down to their children. In contrast, American culture values an individualist mindset where the needs of the single person are considered more important than the group (Kitayama et al. 1997).
Different values lead to distinct social expectations that shape acceptable behavior among likeminded people. Being raised with strong cultural identities and teachings can leave Asian Americans feeling disconnected from their families when they act differently in order to fit into American society (Kitayama et al. 1997).
While I want to encourage second-generation Asian Americans to redefine what it can mean to be Asian and to be American, I also want to stray away from relying on labels as markers of identity. There will always be days when it is difficult to feel Asian enough. There will always be days when it is difficult to feel American enough. Creating a comfortable idea of the self doesn’t mean rejecting labels altogether, rather it means stepping beyond them.
Works Cited
Alvarez, Juan M. 2016. “Qualitative and Narrative Assessment of Self-Concept and Identity: A Grounded Theory on Ethnic and Racial Labeling in America.” PhD dissertation, Department of Philosophy, Washington State University, Ann Arbor. (https://www.proquest.com/dissertations-theses/qualitative-narrative-assessment-self-concept/docview/1831424469/se-2).
Huynh, Que-Lam, Thierry Devos, and Laura Smalarz. 2011. “Perpetual Foreigner in Once’s Own Land: Potential Implications For Identity and Psychological Adjustment.” National Library of Medicine 30(2). Retrieved Septemper 27, 2022 (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3092701/).
Kitayama, Shinobu, Hazel R. Markus, Hisaya Matsumoto and Vinai Norasakkunkit. 1997. “Individual and Collective Processes in the Construction of the Self: Self-Enhancement in the United States and Self-Criticism in Japan.” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 72(6):1245-1267 (https://www.proquest.com/scholarly-journals/individual-collective-processes-construction-self/docview/61509984/se-2).
Li, Jennifer Joy. 1995. “Heritage language retention in second generation Chinese-Americans.” PhD dissertation, Department of Applied Linguistics, University of California, Los Angeles. (https://www.proquest.com/openview/ece18845131507a739d97dbc899439b6/1?cbl=18750&diss=y&pq-origsite=gscholar&parentSessionId=AMLE9rZybVFA7wlEurjP502mq4SVtfwcV4JFcFl4Rlg%3D).
